All The While I'm Creating, My Senses are Lying

My ego-self has been telling me that my devotion, body, soul, and mind,

to my purpose of spiritual service,

Has been for nothing, with nothing to show for it.

My ego has been directing my body’s senses precisely

to show me a lack that "proves",

beyond any shadow of doubt,

that nothing substantial or lasting has come from my life-long labors

as a teacher of truth.

See, my eyes report a lack of money,

Which "proves",

My gifts were of little value to the world.

I mourned for my apparently wasted efforts and obvious incompetence,

Until that moment of light,

When first I saw that temple to truth-

That community of love I had been building all unaware

of what I had been creating.

But built it I did, one small loving choice after another,

Day after day,  year after year,

and decade after decade.

My senses were reporting failure,

All the while I had been secretly creating a shining legacy of love and truth for all the world..

A recurring happy theme in my night dreams:

I happened upon some sort of treasure trove I hadn’t known existed.

Sometimes it was discovering a room in a house I  never knew was there, filled with valuable things to me.

Sometimes I would be on a mountainside, or in a warm spring pool,

and discover to my profound amazement, there was a treasure trove of beautiful crystals of all sorts,

Coming up from the ground,

Or glittering wildly in the stream bed.

Sometimes I’d be exploring the mountain-forest place I live in,

and come upon a beautiful hot springs pool I never knew was on my land.

In each of these night-dreams, I experience myself happening upon a treasure trove of some kind, and a profound sense of awe and gratitude washes over me.

All the while I was creating troves of treasures in the real world,

with each of my loving thoughts,

My fearful physical senses were reporting only insufficiencies in my life,

And countless reasons to feel ashamed.

Love,

help me to see, and accept, the abundance of my loving creations,

And help me to focus only on them.